one time my teacher gave me an F on a paper and wrote “see me after school” on it and i was stressing all day about it but when i went later to ask her what was wrong with it she changed the F to an A and said “you were pissing me off this week i wanted you to suffer for a few hours” and i didnt trust her for the rest of the year
why would you bake a guinea pig into a muffin you monster?!?
I have the talent of getting tired without doing nothing
friend: you speak french?
friend: say something in french!
me: je suis venu ici pour passer un bon moment et je suis honnêtement sentir si attaqué dès maintenant
Brought my cousin with me to my parents house and now my dad’s making him vacuum the entire house because my cousin said it was a womans job to vacuum and clean
this girl injected with the truth serum
OMG I love her
will you marry me = a marriage proposal
will, you, Mary, me = a foursome proposal
Will you, Mary me = Cavewoman Mary helps Will recover from his Amnesia
Will, you marry me. = Will’s time-traveling partner
And people keep trying to tell me that punctuation isn’t important
*txts back 20 days later & picks up the conversation where we left off as if no time has passed and without an excuse*